So I walk to the announcement chalkboard.

U.S. Students

It's not (underlined) today. However, be prepared -----(confidential informaiton).
I will e-mail you the location. Stay put on campus. Thank you.

Well.
I thought I was on the first boat out.
I thought AUB had good wasta. It does. They got out their students on the first batch. There are 30 of us leftovers.

So I went to "sleep". Maybe 2 hours.

And I don't have any clothes. Both my T-shirts I've worn the past two days and they're all nasty and sweaty. I didn't get a chance to do laundry for over a week of course, becaue everyone was like have your bag ready. So I've been sleeping in the clothese that the girl who was in the room left behind. But her tank toops and T-shirts I'm sure aren't laundered either. But that's fine. I mean I'm sleeping in her bed sheets and using her towel.

And eating her food. Now this is funny. I was so excited about all that good food. REmember I told you about the Indian pre-made food frmo the chcicy grocery store. Well it had all this ice on it, but I kind of just smooshed it with a paper towel to eat it becaue I was hungry. And it tasted good.

And later I offered some to Jihan. And she looked at it. And it was all moldy!!! oooooo. I didn't even see!!! I swear I thought it was freezer burn. But of course, nothing happened, becaue I have a stomach of steal, which I have cultivated over the years. You can call me, Old Ironsides.

And my bag is my green backpack. Many of you know it. Now get this. I've lived here for 2 years. There is some life memorobilia in my mom's house. But all my worldly possessions are here.

I packed them in 2 big suitcases. They'll come. . . hmm. Well the airports, the roads, never.

Or I'll come back to Lebanon. . .sooner.

So I just have the bare essentials. Of course clothes aren't bare essentials. But these are all my clothes. So as I was packing I was thinking of cost. What's going to cost the most to replace, becaue I have to get a whole new wardrobe now.

And then I looked around the bedroom I'm staying in. And saw all this trash in the trashcan and I was like, OOhh. I should clean up.

And then my little Walmart travel deoderant was all nasty, so I cna't use it. I've been using tthe Listerine pack things becaseu there's no toothpaste. And her shower gel is about to run out.

So that means I'm going to buy toiletries and some food. I need to act like I'm staying now.

Okay, now don't freak out again. But I'm thinking of Holocaust literature, like Night, Survival in Aushwitz and Alexander Soltzhinten Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovithc. Survival stories. Okay, don't start gettting offended saying I think I'm a victim of the Holocaust. Please. Spare me and the blog. It's just that it crossed my head that survivors make routines. And Elie Wiesel said or was it the other guy that he always washed his hands and stayed clean. I'm taking two showers a day becaue it's Beirut i nthe summer. But I cna't really wash my clothes, becaue they won't dry. And who knows how long I'll be stuck in Cyprus? Or how long it will be eventually til I get home.

AFter two days now, saying you're going to leave the next day and postponing it. I need to change my routine.

So I'm getting money now. I have $250cash. I paid the cab $50. I don't know where the bank machine is. But I stopped myself from askingthe girl at the desk.

By the way, I asked Who's in charge of this AUB dorm? And no one knew. They said the lady's in the U.S. It's a bunch of students at the desk. And there are a lot of randoms and people who are all different backgrounds, religions. YOu have to watch what you say. Apparently some Americans were going around with tape recorders secretely recording converasations. And everyone found out.

And stupidly when the girl at the desk asked me what I do at AUB. That's when I first got here. I told her I don't have an affiliation. I called Caroline and she let me on with the group. And I'm so thankful. Because she doesn't know me. And she did this for me.

So by the way if any of you have some AUB wasta please work it for me. I would feel better if some higher up was backing me up. I think Harvard people can help me with this. And someone else I know.

So let me admit--Lord of the Flies has been flashing through my mind.

I talked to Neda this morning. She left Aley and is in Baaqline with her husband and kids. I want to be on the moutnain. I don't want to be here.

AUB is so safe. IT's so safe. Nothing happens here. It's the broken record they keep repeating.

That's what they said when we were all on the balcony having heard a very close bomb.

These people at AUB are so sheltered. Even the ones in charge. I think they're just watching CNN. These are the people chartering the bus to Jordan. I told Caroline that's crazy. And these administrtors with foregin passports aer saying they'll stay nad just ride it out a cuple weeks.

ARe they crazy?

One of the girls said she feels safe i nthe dorm. But what's goingto happen when food and water run out. And who the hell is in charge? What are the rules?? I basically walked of fthe street and no one said anything.

Now restarurant on Bliss are still open. I can easily get stuff across the street frmo Main Gate. I wanted to stay close to the dorm however becaeuse they might call. Screw that. I'm running errands. I'm going to the beach to take pictuers.

I walked up to the highest floor balcony and took a picture. Building block the sea. Btu I saw two big boats.

And I called Muhammad. Muhammad is frmo my church. He's Shia background, but is a believer in Jesus. Three of his brothers died fighting with Hizbollah. He couldn't get to his house in the Bekaa for many years because he didn't want to fight in the army. It took the government a long time to pardon him from his obligatory draft service, but they finally did becasue three of his brothers died.

Does this prove the govt of Lebanon has not complied with 1559?? Sure.

But he's here in Hamra and he's going to meet up with me at Bliss STreet. I can't wait to see a familiar face. I saw my other friend Iman the first night I came here. She came up from Mar Elias just to see me.

I don't want to be here. I want to be in Beirut.

Let me get money. Buy soap, deoderant, toothpaste, food. And of course get to the Corniche to take pictures.

MOney first. Then pictures.

I dont' know what 's up wit hth e money. I heard the banks were out. And that the lira was 1540 to the dollar. Shit. Maybe I odn't want so much cash on me anyways. Maybe thta's too dangerous. Shit. This is when I wish an expert were right here to tell me what to do. Shit. I'll go walk around and figure it out. But getting money anwywhere in Berut is dangerous. It's filled with homeless people sleeping on the streeets breaking into apartments. I guess this is when I need my ninja training. Damn, I know that's not funny.

I'll be back.

Y'all are all sleeping.